The San Francisco-based group Semper Pink called the plan “an affront to the traditional Spartan values which we cherish as Marines.” The group also said that female grunts “will damage the closeness, intimacy, and brotherhood that comes with infantry life.”
Semper Pink spokesman Sergeant James Wagner, wearing a shirt that said “I keep my unit out of women, so keep women out of my unit,” said that allowing women into the infantry would force gay Marines to deal with lifestyle choices which they disagreed with.
“Plus, we didn’t join up to look at some nasty poon-tang!” he emphasized.
Sergeant Wagner also said that female infantry would be disruptive to unit cohesion.
“Suppose I happen to be out in town, and I see a male and a female Marine from my fireteam kissing,” he says. “Now any time we’re in combat I’ll have to wonder if he’s thinking of cradling me in his arms as I tell him that I love him with my last dying breath, or her skank ass.”
“After almost twenty years of protesting and marching, we finally get access to the greatest sausage fest on the planet, and within six months the Marine Corps totally screws it up.”Lance Corporal Evan Smith, a Rifleman with 3rd Battalion 1st Marines, believed that female grunts would detract from the Marine infantry experience.
“We had a car wash last week, and I was super pumped to show all the guys the new ‘Balls of the Corps’ tattoo I got on my chest. But they spent all their time staring at this female Staff Sergeant who’s training with us.”
“If you ask me, females just can’t do the same work as males,” he added. “It’s basically a question of PT.”
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